Sunday(352-281-127)

So I am finally on vacation again. This I know is a "working" vacation and I can allready sense I am not going to be very happy. This time of year is always very sad for me and I think this year its going to be even worse. In 8 days it will be my 40th b-day....but more than that I keep thinking that if Nathan had lived at birth he would of been 10 years old. I get very depressed around my birthdays now.....It was allready 10 years but it still hurts like it was yesterday. I still remember the night before he was born and I was praying to God to have Nathan be born on the 24th not the 25th as I did not want to remember my birthday as a day that he died......I remember Mom calling at 2:30am and telling me that Nathan was born at 1:10 and lived for 40 mins and died in my sisters arms. Sheely has been through so much since then.....first the death of her infant son....and then the death of her husband last April.....Now look where she is.....Getting married and the grandmother of 2 beautifull little girls.....I really need to grasp some of that happiness she has found and hold tight too it......I don't know if I am making much sense in all this tonight....I am just so tired....I guess I will finish this later.