Sunday(359-288-134)

I have been realy "mopey" all day. The weather is so hot here right now. The temp is almost 98 and the heat index says its 110. Tommorrow is the "Big day" I turn 40....no pomp or circumstance just another day. I think that is why I am down....I see all these other people who had big partied thrown for them and I get nothing....Just the thought of something being done would be nice. I can count on 1 hand who I will hear from. Mom and Dad...and Marilyn....thats will be it. I guess such is life when alot of your family members treat you like dirt. Mark will send a card if he remembers....Shelly (lets not even go there) Mike....shit I would be lucky if he passed me on a street corner and he glanced my way in some sort of acknowledgment....Marcia...might hear from her only for her to tell me how lucky I have it not to be tied down to a family etc when that is what I long for exactly. I won't hear from Matt as he is on a trip. I will talk to Marilyn but she will tell me all day how much I am making mistakes in my life etc....Just what I LOVE to hear on my birthday.
Fuck I feel so messed up right now. What I would give for a good therapist.