Monday 1yr 94

Up and awake this morning. Biked over 9 miles. Thinknig about Halloween this evening and I am going to dress up like a princess to take the kids trick-or-treating. :) We should all have a good time. Tommorrow I have to cantor for the evening mass so I better not stay out too late tonight as I feel already that I am coming down with a cold.

Sunday 1yr. 93

I've been doing a lot of thinking today. I wish sometimes that I would not THINK at all...I just wind up feeling more "bluesy". Here in a nutshell is what I was thinking about. I was trying to think back to a time when I was truly happy with myself..my life etc....and this is what I came up with. I was truly happy when Pedro and I were friends. Now it seems I seem to second guess everything. I knew that Pedro liked me for who I was as a friend he told me that on many occasions. I and felt that. It was nice to have someone who I could vent to and they would listen with an understanding ear. I miss that. :(

I also know that I need to pray more. It seems that when I pray, I feel a whole lot better. So instead of watching TV each morning when I bike I am going to try and spend at least 15 mins of biking in prayer.

The song by Point of Grace called La La La really means a lot to me lately. Here are the lyrics.
If a picture’s worth a thousand wordsWhat are they? And since you’re spirit intercedes for meWhat do you hear when I pray? ’cause I’m finding it hard to find the wordTo let you know how my heart can hurtSo I’ll sing the tuneAnd let you fill in the words(chorus)La la laLa la laLa la la...It’s comforting to knowMy words aren’t all you hearI can talk to you with laughterAnd I can talk to you in tearsAnd I don’t have to know just what to sayFor you to hear me when I praySo I’ll sing a part and let you read my heart.

Saturday 1yr 92

Had a fun time with the kids this morning/afternoon. Took them to the boo revue at Meijer then we went out for lunch and then to the "airplane park" as Emily likes to call it. Now I am back home and looking forward to a very relaxing night at home and BONUS AN EXTRA HOUR OF SLEEP!!!!

Friday 1yr 91

Took today off of work so I could go to Matthews school and help out with his Halloween party. We had a GREAT time. Come home and carved our own pumpkins and then went back to school for the school dance and dinner. Em. was SO CUTE in her "Dragon" costume, and Matthew went as St. George the Dragon slayer. He kept chasing Emily around the gym saying "I'm gonna get you". Tommorrow we plan on heading to the store to see the "freebies" that they are having for the kids for Halloween.

Thursday 1 yr 90

So call me a slug. Once again I slept in this morning and did not get up to bike. I guess I am too tired or something. I don;t think I would call it depressed but I don't know. There has just been way too much on my mind and it weighing heavy on me.

Wednesday 1yr 89

I did not blog this morning as I got up late and was almost late for work. For some reason I did not hear my alarm this morning. I never got up till almost 5:30....YIKES I leave for work like at 5:50 so to say the least I was a tad rushed this morning. Class went good. The kids really did a good job with the prayer service. I was so pleased with their attitudes and their behaviors.

Tuesday 1 yr 88

The inventory yesterday went fairly well.... I think....They had not given me any reports of stockloss before I left so I guess thats a good thing. I will have to wait to see. Today I will be working on a TON of price changes for Jewlery lots of gemstone going on clearance to make room for all the new Christmas items.

Monday 1yr 87

I slept pretty good last night. Not Like normal the night before inventory worrying about if everything is ready. The only thing that I know that MUST be checked on this morning is the Christmas boxed goods in the back room. Maybe I can get those out before they start the count.

This week is going to be EXTREMELY BUSY as today is inventory and tomorrow I start all the price changed. I hope and pray that everything goes smoothly.

Sunday 1yr 86

So the trip to South Bend this time was a lot more tolerable. The only person who really got their feathers ruffled this time was Marilyn and it was sort of a good thing. She went through exactly what I normally do when we go down there. I will say that I felt a bit sorry for her but she did bring some of it on herself. I did have a big sinus headache the whole time I was there and I took a TON of aspirin but I am feeling much better now.

tomorrow is inventory. UGH I hate those days. Keep your fingers crossed that everything goes well.

Friday 1 yr 84

Again this morning I slept in. I am so BAD! I really should of got up and biked!

My wrist this morning is harly hurting at all where it was injured yesterday. Its still black and blue but I will LIVE!!! lol

Going to Indiania this afternoon for the weekend :)

Thursday 1yr. 83

Feeling a little bit guilty this morning as I allowed myself to sleep in instead of getting up and biking like I normally do. I think my body need the rest.

We got a lot of new stuff in yesterday and I got almost all of it put out when they delivered 8 more boxes, so it looks like I have my work cut out for me today.

Wednesday 82

Slept pretty good last night. Fell asleep before the Amazing race was over. Was a slow day at work yesterday so I got a lot done for inventory. Class tonight.

Tuesday 1yr.81

Yesterday flew by very fast. I got almost everything done that I wanted to, but I still need to make sure the backstock is ready for inventory on Monday. I came home last night with an enourmous headache and to top it all off a toothache also. A toothache? I have not had one of those in years. I wonder if it because of the sinus pressure...could explain both.
Lets hope todays flies by fast also.

Monday 1 yr 80

I had a very hard time falling asleep again last night. I don't know if I was too wired from the caffeine I had or was it the thinking I was doing. I think I finally fell asleep around 11:30pm and I was up before 4:00am to do my biking. All in all I feel pretty good just maybe a bit tired. I think its going to be a LONG day, but I know I will sleep well tonight.
This week I have a lot of things to get accomplished. I have to make sure I am ready for inventory and then we have had a TON of new merchandise come in. Hopefully by Friday I will be ready for a LONG weekend and take off for Indiana.

Sunday 1yr.79

So I was think today. In today's Godpell we heard render to Caesar what is Caesars and give to God what is Gods....How often do I do that? I think I am more often to want want want rather than to be thankful with what I have. I need to start be more thankful for the things I have rather than always looking in the darker side and wanting more. Sure I might not have the nicest clothes or the biggest and best place to live...I may have bills coming out of my ears...But I need to focus on what the important things are....I have a good job. I have a roof over my head...I have the love of a good family and I need to be more thankful for those instead of always being down.

Saturday 1yr. 78

Did not sleep well again last night. I had many diffrent and weird dreams. I kept waking up. The only 2 I can remember is one was mom calling me to tell me that dad was in the hospital with a major heartattack, and the pther dreams was that I called Puerto Rico and talked to Perdos mom for a long time. In my dream she was a very nice person, she told me all about Pedro when he was young and how she asmired him for being so smart and how she was sad that she wasted many years being drunk and not getting to know her son better. The dream ended with Pedro coming home from the university and telling his mom not to talk to the "whore" and I woke up almost in tears.
Well enough about that I am off to go get ready for Moms and Dads Party.

Friday 1 yr. 77

Well this morning when I got up I was feeling much better than yesterday. I am very happy about that one.....Almost so happy that I feel like canceling my appoint at the doctors this afternoon....LOL NO!!!!! Just kidding...

I did figure out something this morning....When I biked I stopped every 2 miles and took a little breather then after the breather I would bike another 2 miles but I would go faster increasing my heart rate...Then I would break again and then faster and faster....It seemed to make my heart beat faster which is what I was looking for...I think I might be on to something.

Thursday 1 yr. 76

Right now I am feeling a bit better. I think I really should of went into work today, but when I woke up I was in major pain again and I did not want to overwork myself. In a way I guess it was a good thing. I listened to Dr. Phil this morning on TV and something he said made me stop and think. It was being able to forgive people and get on with living instead of letting all the hatred and sorrow "glue" you to the person that you feel all the anger at. In way I guess that means that I should stop wondering about Pedro. I should let go and let God take care of everything...But sometimes that is easier said then done. I still Pray for him...I still want to talk to him....I still wonder how he is doing....I still wonder what I did to make him feel the way he does about me....
Lord please help me release all my feelings about Pedro. Help me to learn to "Love" again. Be with me always. Guide me in the ways that are true to your name. Amen

Wednesday 1yr. 75

Right now I am having some kidney stone pain again. On a scale from 1 to 10 the pain is right around 4, so I am still heading off to work. Hopefully it won't get much worse today. I have my class all planned for tonight in case I am feeling worse when I get home from work. I so hate feeling like this, so sick and tired of it all.

Tuesday 1yr. 74

Slept fairly well last night. Got almost 7 hours :) Now I have to just get through the rest of the week. I sure hope everything is going to be ok.

This weekend we are having an anniversary party for mom and dad. Its going to be nice to see everyone.

Please keep me in your prayers. Thank you

Monday 1yr.73

Still in a blue funk sort of mood. I wish I could shake it off. I did come to a few conclusions yesterday. Hopefully I can "resolve" myself to keeping those promises.

In a positive note, I am up to biking 8 miles each morning and afternoon. I think I am sleeping a bit better getting all this exercise. Will keep this blog updated with any results.

Sunday 1yr 72

Lots of strange dreams last night. I kept waking up and thinking boy was that an odd dream then I would fall back asleep and have another one. I cannot remember what any of them were about. Except for one. I drempt that Pedro was on trail for robbing a bank and he called me to be a character witness and I went to the trial and broke down on the stand and told everyone one that I did not think he was capable of robbing a bank...But he was cruel and heartless enough to make someone to it for him. I wonder what that dream ment.
Keep me in your prayers this week. I have a lot of bills due this week, and on top of all that I need to go back to the uroligist for another IVP UGH Hate those.

Saturday 1 yr. 71

Ok...so today I am going to reprint an article that was in the usa today paper yesterday. As some of you might know I sell jewelry for a living and I found this article very interesting.


Kevin Maney, USA TODAY
BOSTON — In the back room of an unmarked brown building in a run-down strip mall, eight machines, each the size of a bass drum, are making diamonds.
That's right — making diamonds. Real ones, all but indistinguishable from the stones formed by a billion or so years' worth of intense pressure, later to be sold at Tiffany's.
The company doing this is Apollo Diamond, a tiny outfit started by a former Bell Labs scientist. Peer inside Apollo's stainless steel-and-glass machines, and you can see single-crystal diamonds literally growing amid hot pink gases.
This year, Apollo expects to grow diamonds as big as 2 carats. By the end of 2005, it might expand to 10 carats. The diamonds will probably start moving into the jewelry market as early as next year — at perhaps one-third the price of a mined diamond.
The whole concept turns the fundamental idea of a diamond on its head. The ability to manufacture diamonds could change business, products and daily life as much as the arrival of the steel age in the 1850s or the invention of the transistor in the 1940s.
In technology, the diamond is a dream material. It can make computers run at speeds that would melt the innards of today's computers. Manufactured diamonds could help make lasers of extreme power. The material could allow a cellphone to fit into a watch and iPods to store 10,000 movies, not just 10,000 songs. Diamonds could mean frictionless medical replacement joints. Or coatings — perhaps for cars — that never scratch or wear out.
Scientists have known about the possibilities for years. But they've been held back because mined diamonds are too expensive and too rare. And they're hard to form into wafers and shapes that would be most useful in products.
Manufacturing changes that. It's like the difference between having to wait for lightning to start a fire vs. knowing how to start it by hand.
"I'm just so completely awed by this technology," says Sonia Arrisonof tech analysis group Pacific Research Institute. "Basically, anything that relies on computing power will accelerate."
Arno Penzias, a venture capitalist and Nobel Prize winner for physics, says, "This diamond-fabrication story marks a high-profile milestone on an amazing scientific journey."
"We can't begin to see all the things that can happen because single diamond crystals can be made," says Apollo co-founder Robert Linares, elegant and slim in a golf shirt, slacks and loafers as he sits at the two plastic folding tables that make up Apollo's low-budget conference room. "We are only at the beginning."
Linares has worked on the technology for 15 years, much of that time in his garage. From the start, he did this because of the promise of diamonds in technology. Linares wasn't trying to make gems. In fact, he didn't think he could.
Then he had a happy accident. Well, actually, time will tell whether the accident was a happy one.
Two different paths to diamonds
In 1955, General Electric figured out how to use room-size machines to put carbon under extremely high pressure and make diamond dust and chips. The diamond material wasn't pure or big enough for gems or digital technology. But it had industrial uses, such as diamond-tipped saws. Such saws made it possible, for instance, to cut granite into countertops.
In the ensuing decades, companies and inventors tried to make bigger, better diamonds. But they didn't get far. By the 1990s, researchers were focused on two different paths to diamonds.
One was brute force. Some Russians became pretty good at it, and their machines were eventually brought to Florida by Gemesis. That company now crushes carbon under 58,000 atmospheres of pressure at 2,300 degrees Fahrenheit, until the stuff crystallizes into yellowish diamonds. The stones are attractive for jewelry but not pure enough for digital technology. Gemesis sells its gems through retailers at around $5,000 per carat. A mined yellow diamond can cost four times more.
The other process is called chemical vapor deposition, or CVD. It's more subtle. It uses a combination of carbon gases, temperature and pressure that, Linares says, re-creates conditions present at the beginning of the universe. Atoms from the vapor land on a tiny diamond chip placed in the chamber. Then the vapor particles take on the structure of that diamond — growing the diamond, atom by atom, into a much bigger diamond.
CVD can make diamonds that are clear and utterly pure. It's also a way to make diamond wafers, much like silicon wafers for computer chips. The CVD process can be tweaked by putting in enough boron to allow the diamond to conduct a current. That turns the diamond into a semiconductor.
A handful of companies and scientists, including Sumitomo in Japan and the global diamond powerhouse De Beers, have chased CVD. But by most accounts, Linares is out front.
After receiving his doctorate in materials science from Rutgers University, Linares joined Bell Labs and worked on crystals that would be crucial in telecommunications. In the 1980s, he started Spectrum Technology to make single-crystal Gallium Arsenide chips, one of the key components in cellphones. Spectrum became the material's biggest U.S. supplier, and Linares eventually sold the company to NERCO Advanced Materials.
He then dropped out of business, putting his time and money into his pet project: making CVD diamonds for cutting tools and electronics. "Gemstones were the furthest thing from my mind," Linares says.
Breakthrough in a garage workshop
Linares built machines in his garage, superheating carbon in suburban Boston while his neighbors went about their lives. He got the CVD process to work, at first making tiny diamond chips. He formed Apollo and started down the path to industrial diamonds. Then Linares inadvertently left a diamond piece in a beaker of acid over a weekend. The acid cleaned up excess carbon — essentially coal — that had stayed on the diamond.
"When I came in Monday, I couldn't see the (stone) in the beaker," Linares says. The diamond was colorless and pure. "That's when I realized we could do gemstones."
How diamonds are made
Apollo Diamond is making real diamonds through a process called chemical vapor deposition (CVD). Here is an explanation of the process:
(1) A slice of diamond is placed flat inside a chamber. Hydrogen and hydrocarbon gases are injected and heated to thousands of degrees at the right pressure.(2) Carbon atoms land on the diamond slice and replicate the crystal’s structure, the way a drop of water merges seamlessly into a pool of water. The diamond grows thicker and taller. Growing a 5 carat diamond can take a week.(3) The top can be sliced off and cut into gems. Or the diamond can be cut into thin wafers for computer chips or other uses. Part of the slice is returned to the chamber to make the next diamond.
“We basically grow our own raw material,” says Apollo president Bryant Linares.
Source: Apollo Diamond
For Apollo, there are lots of good things about making gems. Diamond jewelry will be a $60 billion global market this year, and it's growing fast. If Apollo can snag just 1%, the company would become a $600 million rocket.
Also, gems could become a source of revenue quickly. While the military and companies are working on tech inventions that use diamonds, a real market for diamond technology might be a decade away. By selling gems, Apollo can make money now to fund the research for forthcoming diamond tech products.
That solution, though, brings two huge problems. One is that Apollo doesn't know the gem business. Its employees are technologists. Aside from Linares, Apollo is run by his son, Bryant, an MBA who started and sold an information services company. Vice President Patrick Doering had been lead scientist at Spectrum.
"We are not gemstone guys," Bryant Linares admits. They don't know consumer marketing or retailing. Bryant Linares notes that Apollo plans to split into a tech business run by the Linareses and a gem business run by a gem veteran they have yet to hire. For now, though, the gem business is a distraction with a steep learning curve.
Apollo's other problem is De Beers, which doesn't like what Apollo is doing one bit. De Beers launched a public relations campaign and an education program for jewelers, all aimed at portraying mined diamonds as real and eternal — and CVD or Gemesis diamonds as fake and tacky.
Both Apollo and Gemesis want to market their gems as "cultured diamonds," taking a cue from cultured pearls. De Beers is fighting that label. "It's misleading and unacceptable," says De Beers executive Simon Lawson. "It makes people think (manufacturing diamonds) is an organic process, and it's not."
Even highly trained diamond experts find it almost impossible to tell a CVD diamond from a mined one. De Beers is determined to help by making machines that can detect the slightest difference in the way the two materials refract light.
As part of that effort, De Beers stepped up its own CVD research "focused on producing state-of-the-art synthetic diamonds for testing on our equipment," Lawson says. Referring to CVD diamonds, he adds, "We don't see gemological applications fitting into it."
So by getting into gems, little Apollo made a powerful, determined enemy.
A long list of possibilities
The tech side is an entirely different story. Just about every entity in technology can get excited about diamonds.
The military's DARPA research arm has been pumping money into CVD projects. Companies such as Lucent are on the trail of holographic optical storage, which will use lasers to store data in 3D patterns, cramming huge amounts of information in tiny spaces. CVD diamonds would vault holographic storage ahead, helping bring about the 10,000-movie iPod.
Tech company Textron is a big fan of Apollo. Textron has been working on super lasers that might become weapons or be used like a camera flash for spy satellites, so they could take photos from space at night.
"Thermal management is a major challenge to increasing a laser's power," explains Textron scientist Yulin Wang. The diamond has the highest thermal conductivity of any material, which allows it to quickly move heat away from the laser's insides. Textron needs large, pure diamond pieces for its lasers and finally found them at Apollo.
CVD diamonds can help solve one of the computer industry's biggest challenges. Companies such as Intel advance computer chip technology by squeezing microscopic wires closer together while making the chips run ever faster. But that's making the chips increasingly hotter. At some point this decade, the chips could run so hot they'd melt. But not if the chips were based on diamond wafers instead of silicon.
"Using diamonds as semiconductors will continue Moore's Law," says Pacific Research's Arrison, referring to an observation about the continual increase in speed and power since chips were invented.
The list of possibilities for man-made diamonds goes on. "By most measures, diamond is the biggest and best," says a research paper written about CVD by Paul May at the U.K.'s University of Bristol. It's the hardest material, it won't expand in heat, won't wear, is chemically inert and optically transparent, May says.
"Once (manufactured) diamond is available, developers will find all kinds of other things to do with it," Robert Linares says.
Manufactured diamonds will be like other inventions that were so profound because they made new things possible. Steel allowed engineers to dream of skyscrapers and suspension bridges. Transistors led to computers and pacemakers and so much else. So this may be the beginning of the diamond age of technology.
Says Linares: "The genie is out of the bottle, and it can never be put back in."

Friday 1 yr 70

I am a little bit angry right now. I am not too sure if what Misty told me about Pedro is true or not. At first she told me that she had not talked with him and then in the next breath she was saying that she had and he never wants to speak to me again. If that is true and he never wants to speak to me again all I want to know is WHY? I have always tried to be honest with him and all I get is slapped in the face. I wish he would talk to me and explain why he made this choice. I wish I could just let go of everything and go away forever. I bet that would make him happy.

Thursday 1yr. 69

Not a good day for me yesterday. Had too many worries on my brain. How am I going to come up with the money before next week? Beats the hell out of me. I know I can come up with half of it but I don't think its gonna be enough.

Class went well last night at least. The kids really seem to love coming to class and they are asking some pretty cool questions. More later,,,

Wednesday 1yr. 68

I was extremly exhausted last night. I think I fell asleep by 9:OO pm...that is so unlike me. Even when I woke up this morning it felt like I had been runned over by a truck. My head is killing me, my muscles are sore, and of course to top it all off with...my kidney stones are bothering me again. All around I feel like crap. On a positive not though, I did bike for almost 7 miles this morning.

Tuesday 1yr. 67

I went to bed early last night, but still did not sleep well. I kept waking up and that is very fustrating. I also awoke with a major nose bleed. I have not had one of those in years.

Between blowing my nose and yawning I did manage to bike 8 miles this morning.

Monday 1 yr. 66

Blogger was down this morning. So I am posting now.

I am a bit miffed at the moment. It seems lately everything I say and do is in direct compition with Marilyn. If I had a bad day..hers was worse...If I had a story...hers is funnier...If I got in a accident...she is lucky to be alive as she almost died a minute ago.....ARGGGGGGG lol

Sunday 1 yr. 65

I so wanted to sleep in this morning. It seems like I just went to bed and my alarm is already going off to get up.

Someone left a post yesterday on my blog saying that it "sounded" like a was very industrious. I think it was ment in a mocking way.....but hey!!! If you have been as sick as I had been lately you would see why I was very proud of myself. SO THERE!!

Saturday 1yr. 64

YEA!!!! Its the weekend. Got up early this morning and cleaned the bathroom almost spotless. I also did 2 loads of laundry and its not even 2:00pm yet. I am going to try and tackle cleaning out the fridge tomorrow. Its clean on the outside but something inside is "stinky" and I cannot figure out what it is.

Looks like Marissa and Nicholas are coming today for a visit. I am looking forward to seeing them :) LATER TATERS!!! LOL