Tuesday 1yr 186

This song has been going through my head alot lately. Why, you might ask? I am not too sure but I think it has to do with my relationship with Jeff and how it hurt me.

I will not make the same mistakes that you didI will not let myselfCause my heart so much miseryI will not break the way you did,You fell so hardI've learned the hard wayTo never let it get that far.
Because of youI never strayed too far from the sidewalk.Because of youI learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt.Because of youI find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around meBecause of youI am afraid.
I lose my wayAnd it's not too long before you point it out.I cannot cryBecause you know that's weakness in your eyes.I'm forced to fakeA smile, a laugh everyday of my life.My heart can't possibly breakWhen it wasn't even whole to start with.
Because of youI never strayed too far from the sidewalk.Because of youI learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt.Because of youI find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me.Because of youI am afraid.
I watched you dieI heard you cry every night in your sleep.I was so youngYou should have known better than to lean on me.You never thought of anyone elseYou just saw your pain.And now I cry in the middle of the nightFor the same damn thing.
Because of youI never strayed too far from the sidewalk.Because of youI learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt.Because of youI try my hardest just to forget everything.Because of youI don't know how to let anyone else in.Because of youI'm ashamed of my life because it's empty.
Because of youI am afraid
Because of you
Because of you

Monday 1 yr 185

Went to bed last night before 8:30 and fell sound asleep. My body certainly has been dragging since I picked up this bug. I will be doing training at work this morning. I have to train both our new girl who is coming in and her boss. Should be a fun day. YIKES lol

Sunday 1 yr 184

Well I did lay low for most of this weekend. My cold is worse, but thank goodness I no longer have the chills. My nose just seems to be more plugged and I am sneezing like crazy. I could not sleep in at all yesterday. I woke up at 5:30 and I so wanted to fall back asleep but I could not. I think I was just too wound up in my own thoughts. I did finally get up around 7 and then tried going back to sleep about 9ish but it did not work. I wound up going to Mers to see if she needed anything from the store. Then went to Meijer and got some medication and a few groceries. Came home did some laundry and then soaked in a long hot bath. That felt wonderful. I think I fell asleep about 10ish and then got up this morning went to Mass at Holy Name for 9:30 service and now I am back home just trying to rest as much as possible. (HAACHOOOOOO) again for the 1000,000 time...so someone better bless me. LOL :)

Friday 1 yr 182

Yuck, I went from having the stomach flu to having a cold. I came home from work yesterday just worn out. I thought it was because of the flu, but as the night wore on my throat started hurting and I began sneezing. I woke up this morning all congested. Look like I am going to lay low this weekend.

Thursday 1 yr 181

Feeling a LOT better this morning. Got a ton of sleep yesterday. I only went to part of class, I let Koletti teach the rest of it. When I went to leave for class my car started weird. Lets hope this is not the start of something BAD.

Wednesday 1yr 180

Home sick today from work. I feel like crap. Headache,cold chills, ache muscles, nauseous. UGH

Tuesday 1 yr 179

Well yesterday was not a too horrible of a first day back to work. I had a ton of stuff to keep me busy. Today I have a 2 boxes of new stuff to put away already and then I have to try and find some other items for a re-call in the mens dept. I sure hope Lorraine is going to be there to help me out.

Monday 1yr 178

Last fairly well last night. I got up when the alarm woke me and I biked for 5 miles. I really wanted to sleep but I made myself do it. Now I am just sitting and drinking some water and mentally preparing myself for the day. There should be some major changes when I get there. We shall see.

Sunday 1 yr 177

Well I am going to create a new blog attached to this one. If it works it will be a blog about my dreams. I was reading that dreams can tell alot about what you are feeling etc.....So lets see if this works.

Saturday 1 yr 176

Sigh...Vacation seems to come to an end so fast. We had a fun time last night. Stefany and Corrine came over and we wound up playing a board game till almost mid-night. I have not laughed so much in a long time. It was very nice to see them again, and hear about everything that is happening in their lives. Well I think for right now I am going to head back to bed for a bit and just relax. :)

Friday 1 yr 175

Well today is sort of the last day of vacation. Tomorrow is the weekend and I normally have those 2 days off. Emily is here right now. I am babysitting her so Mer can help out at Matthews school. SO much for sleeping in. ;)

Thursday 1 yr 174

I am up a bit early this morning, but that's ok I am on VACATION and I can do whatever I want. :) I do not have anything planned for today maybe just going to a movie I think then later on this evening I have to go to cantor and choir practice. I don't have much planned for tomorrow either, just hanging out here till Mom and Dad come over. They are dropping off some pop can for me to return for the ( I can always use a bit of extra money ). They are also bringing Clifford with them as they are giving him back from where they got him from. I guess he is much too aggressive of a dog for them to deal with. Mom seems a bit upset about it but she knows that it needs to be done.

Wednesday 1 yr. 173

Up and awake fairly early this morning for being on vacation. Marilyns mother-in-law had to go to Lansing for more tests, so I am babysitting Emily and her cousin Justin so Mer could be there for her Mother-in-law. I have noticed lately the symtoms that her mother has seem to be progressing (she has been diagnosed with ALS) I wonder what they are going to tell her today.

Tuesday 1 yr 172

Wow, I have been very busy since I started my vacation. Mer came over Friday night and she helped me re-arrange my living room. We had a riot trying to move the old couch out. Sat. I slept in and then did a little more cleaning. Mer came over again and we just chatted for a bit, then Marcia came over and the air in the apt. Got tense. I don't know why but for some reason there seems to be friction between us. I will have to work on being more toralable to her little quirks. After church on Sunday I came home and just relaxed until about 4'ish then Mike and Mer brought Matthew and Emily back so they could spend their first night away from home. LOL I found out that Aunt Megan need more toys for kids to play with at her house. We did have a good time playing "crazy dance" and telling stories about when momma and Aunt Megan were little. They were excited to eat popcorn in bed while watching a movie. My TV is in my bedroom so they snuggled under the blankets(Yes I made sure they were sitting up so they could not choke)but they thought it was SO COOL. Yesterday morning they came and picked up the kids around 11 and we all went out for a late breakfast then back to their house for a rousing game of "wally-ball" . Then we just played and picked up their house. Then we went to buy me a new floor lamp as when the kids came over, Mer was moving the couch some and she knocked over my floor lamp and it broke it 50 million little pieces. Well that's all the new I have here. The rest of this vacation should be very relaxing :)

Friday 1 yr 168

VACATION. 2:58pm. I WILL BE ON IT :) YEA!!!!

It has been a long week. They asked me yesterday if I would consider taking a diffrent week and I told them that I had plan so they said Ohh by all means then take your vacation. They will be a little short handed but at least I will not have people who I cannot trust at the Jewelry counter.

PS Today is Friday the 13th. YIKES!!!!

Thursday 1 yr 167

So I got to work yesterday and found out this. One girl confessed to everything that she had done, they called the police and they came in and arrested her, she bonded out at the police office. Another girl is now suspended which she will most likely be fired (along with the first girl) and the third girl talked her way out of the suspension but is now on a probation period. Now maybe I will not be loosing so much stock at my Jewelry counter.

Wednesday 1 yr 166

I still am in some pain this morning but I think I can make it through the work day. I need to go in and find out what exactly happened yesterday. If the pain get too bad then I will come home. I heard through the "grapevine" yesterday that 3 people were going to suspended for some things that happened in the jewelry Dept. I know which 3 its happening to but still I want to know why they did what they did...Etc.... I will say now that I know security is involved I am a bit more at ease with everything.

Tuesday 1 yr 165

In a little bit of pain this morning. I am not to sure if its another kidney infection or another bout of stones. I took my temp and it was "sub-normal" so it sort of makes me think that its stones and not an infection. I have been drinking a TON of water the past few weeks. Uggg I do dislike feeling like this.

Monday 1 yr 164

Had a fairly busy weekend. Spent most of the time getting things ready here for this weeks fire inspection. I did a lot of cleaning up...not just cleaning up the place but cleaning up my life. I took some time reflecting on how my high school years were a terrible time for me. I went through the yearbook and saw some people from my past who hurt me and then it was gone in a second. I through all those yearbook away. Why hang onto something that is bringing you down? I also went through some poetry I wrote when Pedro and I were actually friends I saved all the good ones the ones that reminded me what a good person he was but I through away all the negitive ones that were full of hatred, maybe this will help me move on in my life. We shall see.

Friday 1 yr 161

So happy its Friday. Even though I had Monday off it seems that this week went on FOREVER! I have a lot to keep me busy this weekend. Next week is going to be another LONG week...BUT I am on vacation after that. :)

Thursday 1 yr 160

Those of you who know me know that I cannot stand FOX news and despise even more Bill O'Reilly and the "O'Reilly Factor". This morning when I woke up I turned on the news and was flipping through the channels and found a repeat of last night show. Apparently Bill O'Reilly was on the David Letterman show and Mr Letterman put Bill in his place. To watch the interview go to www.BillOreilly.com. YEA MR LETTERMAN!!!!!!

Wednesday 1 yr 159

Listening to the news this morning and was saddened to learn about the 12 miners that had died in the mine in West Virginia. I think the news agency has got the wrong "spin" on it. They are proclaiming it was a tragedy (which don't get me wrong it is) but they are also saying it was non-miraculous. What about the 1 man that did survive? Is that not a miracle? Sure the families and friends of the other 12 are going to be devastated, but God did let someone survive and that in itself should be a miracle.

1 yr 158

I was thinking last night while trying to fall asleep. Love and Hate. They are both 4 letter words. They both came bring a person to tears, and laughter. For example I love you so much that it hurts, or Its funny how hate to get up and work each morning. :P Both these emotions can draw a lot out of us. I can remember being in love so much that I did not care whether I ate or slept. It was such a euphoric feeling. Then again I have felt so much hate and anger that it just seems to consume my whole being. Oh how I hate to feel like that. Its a good thing I have only felt that on a few occasions.

Love and Hate are emotions that are both needed to survive in life, but in the end I sure hope I choose love more that hate.


Ps. I know this sounds "rambly" but its hard to remember exactly what I was thinking last night . LOL

Monday 1 yr 157

So I went down to Matts and Chris with Bill W. It was a pretty good trip. Sat around on New Years eve playing "blueray" Most of us seemed to be having a good time. The trip down with Bill was semi-interesting. I thought all of my old feelings for him would of come back, but they did not. We just talked about relationship and how we are both "getting" along in our "singlehood". It was good for me just to sit back and listen to him and it was for me for someone to hear my pint of view and why I think the relationship I had with Jeff went south. ( DAMM HIM AND HIS LOVE FOR BOOZE).

This New Years I guess I am not planning any resolutions persay, I guess what I want to do is to focus more on myself and my spiritual journey in life.